I want to fucking die

 I just did the unthinkable. I want to fucking die. 

It is so clear that I am not fit to be in a relationship. I was falling apart for things that I was not sure were large or small, but that felt totally unmanageable. It is better to cut ties early. My mistake is that I always hold on, thinking that I am crazy, gaslighting myself for years. I was just doing the same thing. It is better for everyone. 

I fucking hate myself.